Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Comic Theory: Lime Blood Powers

Disclaimer: This post was intended as a joke. I made this because I was bored.
Fan art theorizing what a lime blood troll would like
For those not in the know, the trolls (in Homestuck) have can have different colors of blood. The blood color determines a troll social status and their powers (usually psychic in nature). It is revealed that there used to be lime blood trolls. However, the lime blood trolls were hunted to extinction due to having powers that threaten the status quo. Fans have speculated on what were the powers of these trolls and why they were a threat. I am here to throw in my two cents.
First, I need to explain some backstory. All the purple blood trolls are subjugglators, members of an unnamed (at the time of writing) religion that serves as the trolls' counterpart to the juggalo (fans of the Insane Clown Posse) culture. Part of their religion is to consume / produce soda particularly "the wicked elixir" Faygo. Her Imperious Condescension, queen of the trolls, became annoyed by the subjugglators' control over the soda market. So, she produced their own soda, Alternian Soft Drink, to compete. The majesty claimed it had more sugar than Faygo. In reality, it was diet soda so she could drink it without gaining too much weight. Despite the high bloods (correctly) suspecting she was lying, the soda became popular among the more numerous lower caste members. So what does this have to with the lime blood trolls?
Now, here is my actual theory. The lime bloods had the psychic powers that allowed them to realize the content of what they are eating. So, Her Imperious Condescension, wanting to prevent her sales from plummeting and prevent a public relations nightmare, had all the lime bloods exterminated.
What is my logic? Firstly, it seems highly unlikely the lime bloods just happened to become extinct while being hunted. So, them being wiped out was clearly intentional. Second, nothing in the story mentions how old the Alternian Soft Drink is. This combined with the lack of any real indication of when the lime bloods died means the lime bloods could have been around when the soda was introduced. Next, Calliope mentioned the lime bloods had unusual powers. The psychic food power would be unusual since the trolls usually have more traditional psychic powers such as telekinesis, mind control, future sight and so on. Lastly, their powers was probably not very useful if they all able to be killed off. If they say had the ability to calm down trolls (a popular theory), why didn't they just use that power to save themselves?