Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Felt

The Felt (minus Snowman, Doc Scratch and Lord English) with
Slick Spades and Miss Paint
It has been a while since I did a post. What convinced me to start again was reading the Homestuck Act 3 - 4 Intermission "Don't Bleed on the Suits". In it, they introduce my favorite characters of the comic: the Felt,... who promptly killed off before the end of the intermission. 
Before someone mentions, I know that Lord English usually has a GIF of pool balls instead of the "o". However, the images was giving me formatting issues so I chose to just use an "o" instead.
Caliborn (the future Lord English) played the single player campaign of the reality-altering game Sburb. Whereas the "normal" (i.e. multiplayer game) involves helping stop an army of evil, the single player version of game involves conquering and destroying 15 planets. Each time Caliborn did so, he was rewarded with a new leprechaun sidekick. Each of them was given a hat with a designated color and number which relate to a pool ball (such as yellow / one or green / six). These leprechauns became a group of mobsters called "the Felt" with Lord English leading. At some point, Snowman and Doc Scratch joined. They represented the eight-ball and cue ball. At some point, the Felt came into conflict with the Midnight Crew and became their rivals. During "Don't Bleed on the Suits", the Midnight Crew killed the Felt except for Doc Scratch and Lord English. Snowman's death resulted in the destruction of their universe. However, the Felt briefly appeared in Act 5 Act 2 due to their time-altering abilities. Spades Slick, the leader of the Midnight Crew, used Die's doll to revive all the dead members except Snowman (whose revival would have negative consequences), who was replaced by Ms. Paint. This version was led by Spades Slick naturally. 
I am only listing the original 14 leprechaun members and Snowman. The reason why is because these characters were fairly minor. However, Doc Scratch and Lord English are important players to the overarching plot of Homestuck. As such, there were would be too much information for this list.
  1. Itchy- High strung, Itchy could slow time relative to himself. This allowed him to react faster. Spades got the jump on him and killed him
  2. Doze- Doze has the ability to slow time for himself. While seemingly useless, this allows him to slow down how fast he received pain thus making him impossible to torture. He was killed by a bomb placed in his hat by Club Deduces.
  3. Trace- Trace was skilled at infiltration and messed with the Midnight Crew several times. He could tell where a person has been a la Donnie Darko. Trace was killed by the same bomb that killed Doze.
  4. Clover- Clover was a superstitious, but superhumanly lucky, member. He seemed to be an accountant. Clover was willing to reveal sensitive information if the person asking could answer a riddle. It was unclear if Spades killed him or not. If Spades didn't, the destruction of the universe would have.
  5. Fin- Fin was a shark-like member able to see where people will be in the future a la Donnie Darko. He enjoys snooping, but leaves evidence of him being there. Fin died from blood loss due to injuries given to him by Diamond Droog.
  6. Die- Die had a voodoo doll with needles that represented his teammates. Pulling a pin caused that teammate to appear in a timeline where they died. Due to being distracted by time mucking, Die was killed by Spades.
  7. Crowbar- Crowbar was, according to Caliborn, a pleasant and intelligent fellow. He had a crowbar that could destroy any object with time-altering properties and null any effects it had on the time stream. Crowbar was killed off-screen prior to "Don't Bleed on the Suits".
  8. Snowman- Snowman was originally a villain from a game of Sburb being played by Trolls. She was exiled and recruited by Doc Scratch. Killing Snowman would destroy the universe. This is proved true when Spades shot her in the heart.
  9. Stitch- Stitch had the ability to fix entropies that appear in the timeline, which manifest as tears in Lord English's Cairo coat. He also had the power to heal members remotely. Stitch was killed by Spades.
  10. Sawbuck- When wounded, Sawbuck automatically sends himself and his attacker to a random point in time. Although he had trouble wounding Sawbuck, Spades eventually managed to behead Sawbuck.
  11. Matchsticks- Matchstick was killed prior to "Don't Bleed on the Suits". Andrew Hussie, the creator of the webcomic, claims could use fire as a gateway to travel to any point in time. Matchsticks carried around a fire extinguisher.
  12. Eggs- Eggs can use an egg timer to travel back to up to a hour. He uses this ability to summon an army of himself. Spades managed to destroy the timer via Crowbar's crowbar. As such, Heart Boxcars was able to behead Eggs.
  13. Biscuits- Biscuits is an idiot. He thinks his nonfunctional oven allows him to travel forward in time if sets the timer and waits inside. In reality, Biscuits is just waiting for the timer to go off. He is killed by a bomb placed in the oven by Club Deuces. 
  14. Quarters- Quarters was killed prior to "Don't Bleed on the Suits". According to Hussie, he had quarters with the faces of his team and could use these to switch places with a member if the corresponding coin was flipped. Quarters wielded a mini-gun.
  15. Cans- Cans is a giant brute. His ability is to literally punch people into next week. Cans was presumably killed by the universe's destruction since his death wasn't shown on screen.

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