Jumping Jesophat (top), Shoveler (left in middle row), Jackpot, Mr. Furious, Flaming Carrot (not a member), Captain Attack, Bondo Man, Red Rover, Screwball (under Mr. Furious)
The Mystery Men are a team of second-string heroes. They have various flaws that prevent them from making the big league. These flaws vary from having weak powers to character flaws. They have an extremely high kill and death rate. At one point they had 30 members and were nicknamed the "Dirty Thirty". What happened to the other members is unknown.
- The Shoveler- Stan Belarsky was a low-paid blue-collar worker. He found King Arthur's shovel, which deemed to be just and honest enough to be his owner. The shovel is sentient and speaks a Shakepearian-style. Stan can use it as a deadly weapon.
- The Hummer- He was best friends with the Strangler and a superhero. He became addicted to his powers and went on a rampage. The Strangler was forced to kill the Hummer to stop him. The Hummer could create vibrations via a device in his fist.
- Jumo the Magnificent- Glen Gilke gained his powers from shallowing a meteor he mistook for a meatball. Jumno is invulnerable to everything except for leafy vegetables and wicker furniture. His stomach glows blue.
- Screwball- He is an organic machine from another planet. Despite his vast knoweldge of Earth, he acts in very bizarre fashions (such as keeping shoelaces as pets). He has a very plesant nature. He can fly.
- Disc Man- Lance Fortnight discovered several "living" discs in his wall and used them to become a superhero. He seems to be able to control the discs and use them to fly.
- The Spleen- He gained the ability to fart gas that knocks people out from being exposed to chemicals. He suffers from kleptomania.
- The Strangler- He is a Vietnam veteran-turned superhero via a magic cake. He has invulnerability, super strength and allergy to metal.
- The Zeke- He has a snout that gives him super-sniffing. He can see far away and in the dark. His ears have super hearing.
- Mystic Hand- His hand can detach his hand and make it float and fly if it remains in his sight (otherwise he loses control).
- Bondo Man- He is made out of living bondo (think putty). He was created by a failed experiment to make an organic putty.
- Mr. Furious- He is a repo man that deals with cars. His anger makes him immune to bullets.
- Star Shark- He can bite and eat almost anything. He can roll like a pinwheel.
- Jumpin' Jehosaphat- He can jump to superhuman heights.
- Captain Attack- He has various fuctional guns on his suit.
- The Metro Marauder- No information available
- The Whisperer- No information available
- Red Rover- No information available
- Jackpot- No information available