Friday, August 21, 2009

Hero Hotline (Advertisement)

What do you do if Solomon Grundy is on a rampage and Wonder Woman is battling the Cheetah, Superman is saving Pluto, and Batman is dating Catwoman?! Call the Hero Hotline! For a small fee we will sent a hero to save you. Among the heroes that may safe you are the following.
Day shift:
  • Hot Shot- Billy Lefferts can shoot fire balls and give a meaning to the term "hot shot".

  • Mister Muscle (a.k.a Brother Bicep, Mister Mighty and Flex)- The narcissist Sturgis Butterfield, who is an obsessive weightlifter and bodybuilder.

  • Voice-Over- Andy Greenwald is a superhuman ventriloquist and can mimic voices.

  • Diamondette- Diana Theotocopoulos has the power to make her hand diamond hard.

  • Private Eyes- Thanks to his goggles, private detective Lester Lee has infra-red, microscopic and telescopic vision.

  • Microwavebelle - Belle Jackson is an amateur scientist that invented a belt that gives him flight and microwave powers.

  • Stretch- Tom Longacre has stretchy power from drinking chemical Gingold, but over douse makes it so he has a hard time remaining in a human form (even while resting).

  • Coordinator- Skill gunner, Tex Thompson is former World War 2 hero that has also been called "Mister America" and "Americommando".

Night shift:

  • Thunderhead- Thunderhead is a crew member with unknown powers.

  • Batmyte- He is a bat-like humanoid with orange skin. He has no connection with Bat-Mite.

  • Chlorino- Chlorino is a crew member with unknown powers.

  • Herald- He wears a costume with medieval-herald-reminiscent.

  • Card Queen- She has a "heart" playing card on her chest.

  • Ms. Terrific- She has costume similar to Mr. Terrific.

  • Marie the Psychic Turtle- It's a smart, telepathic turtle.

  • Zeep the Living Sponge- As the name implies, he is a living sponge. Zeep is a campaigner for fair pay and hero rights.

Call 1-800-555-HERO. We operate 24 / 7.


No comments:

Post a Comment